His Needs Her Needs
Building an Affair-Proof Marriage
His Needs Her Needs is a very powerful book written by Willard F. Harley, Jr. to help couples identify each other's most common needs and to encourage them to invest in developing their relationship by committing to fulfill one another's needs daily. By following some of his simple yet profound strategies, couples have the tools needed to avoid common problems that could gradually over time tear their marriage relationship apart. After reading, couples will come to realize that it is each other's responsibility to ensure that their spouse does not lack in areas of their need. His Needs, Her Needs, is highly recommended for every marriage relationship, as it can help increase intimacy even in a strong marriage, as well as, alter the course of a marriage that has gone astray by helping the marriage get back on track.
Happy Marriage Nuggets for His Needs Her Needs
The rest of this website is dedicated to providing very helpful resources and nuggets that will assist you in buidling your marriage relationship and help you discover that you too can have and enjoy a happy marriage, as you work on meeting his needs, her needs. So enjoy this priceless collection of information!
Also, if you know anyone who's interested in strengthening their marriage relationship, home and family, or anyone you believe needs some knowledge to help them with their marriage, or marriage pursuit, feel free to forward them this website's information. Also encourage them to visit often. It's time for marriages to succeed, as we commit to meeting his needs, her needs.
Happy Marriage Nugget #1:
Getting the benefit of the doubt is one of His Needs Her Needs
If your partner does something that offends you, such as, break their promise to take you out on a date, stayed out too late, you noticed them conversing for quite a long time with some lady or man, was suppose to help you with some task, but didn't or simply didn't do something they gave their word on, and you are yet to hear his or her explanation for your observation, do not conclude on something negative, but give him or her the benefit of the doubt to explain their reasons.
When your mate notices that you would always hear them out first, without running into conclusions with a grumpy story, they will be more forthcoming with the story or reasons and do so more relaxed, knowing you haven't told yourself a negative story about the situation. Also, when you do this, make sure it is not mere lip service, but let it be obvious that you genuinely would prefer to hear him or her tell you about it, than to believe something negative in your mind. By doing this, you are meeting one of his needs, her needs, which is to be heard out. So exercise some patience. Do this next time.
Happy Marriage Nugget #2:
Going the extra mile can be meeting one of His Needs Her Needs
Taking time and putting in a little extra effort to do more than your spouse requested and expects, more often than not, meets some of his needs or her needs that were unspoken. Say for instance, guys, your wife asks you to help her with the dishes one evening, and you went ahead to wipe down the counters and stove as well or ladies, your husband asks you to help him with the packing of his luggage for a business trip, and you went ahead to slip in a love note with a spritz of your perfume.
These little extras could be so appreciated, you won't believe it. Just imagine how it would feel if you were at the receiving end, or if "acts of service" is his or her primary love language. And think about it, isn't it a wonderful feeling that of your own accord, you decided to do a little more than requested or expected? So, whenever you have the opportunity to lend a helping hand, take some time to think of how you could go the extra mile for your sweetheart!
Happy Marriage Nugget #3:
Falling in love daily meets one of His Needs Her Needs
You can keep your marriage relationship with your partner really fresh and vibrant by falling in love with him or her on a daily basis. Things like taking turns to plan date nights on a regular basis and mixing in activities that you know are some of his or her favorites, would really make date nights something to anticipate with pure delight. Also, having new things to do each date night will keep this time together fresh and full of suspense. I believe everyone appreciates a pleasant surprise whenever one is given, so keep that in mind as you think of unique and creative things to do.
Now, many of these dates don't necessarily have to involve spending lots of money. It can be absolutely free as you attend your local parks and the historical sites around you. Also, you could simply rent a video to watch together. Giving a shot at something new together such as, learning how to play a game like table tennis (a.k.a ping-pong), golf, tennis or other things like, taking dance lessons or trying out a foreign cuisine. The primary goal here is to spend "quality time" together, where you're doing just about anything, which might be one of his needs, her needs.
Happy Marriage Nugget #4:
Unwinding together is one of His Needs Her Needs
After a long day of job responsibilities or getting lost in the hectic world of work and catering to family commitments, spending time together to unwind or decompress after dinner and before bedtime, is a great way of connecting and bringing back those affectionate feelings for each other. Discussing the good, the bad and ugly events of the day is something you should consider an important way to end your day.
Your partner will love this, as you both make it a daily routine. This will help you both look at things together and strengthen each other as you put them in proper perspective. An area of his needs, her needs will certainly be satisfied as you practice this. Do it today!
Happy Marriage Nugget #5:
His Needs Her Needs - satisfied by Embracing Your Differences
They say it is usually the unique traits of your partner that attracted you to them at first, that ends up driving you crazy. Now, that does not have to be the case when we learn to embrace their differences, love those differences and express our appreciation of the fact that he or her is different in that way from us, and that we are not embarassed and never will be ashamed or put down by their uniqueness. It could be the way they laugh, walk, talk or react to situations. Now, this is not referring to say, dressing in a provocative manner in public or some extreme situation that is a product of immaturity.
A sense of security is established in their heart, knowing you have fully embraced who they are and have no plans of getting them to change or else. This sense of security is definitely among his needs, or her needs, especially for the ladies; this is certainly one of her needs. You need to give that assurance of security. Admiring his or her differences can help your marriage relationship remain interesting. Honestly, you are really beginning to love your spouse when he or she does something that is way difference from your style, and you love them for it. Think about it.
Happy Marriage Nugget #6:
His Needs Her Needs Could Be The Little Things
It is a quite remarkable fact, that water, at 211 degrees is simply hot, but at 212 degrees boils. Just that additional degree makes all of the difference. Similarly, just a little more of something, sometimes makes a lot of impact. It could be a simple touch, such as a gentle squeeze of a shoulder or arm as you pass by your mate. This will usually be well appreciated, as it conveys a meaningful message of love and caring. Do this sometimes, and you will be satisfying one of his needs, her needs.
Something else that could have that same extra-degree-effect and meet one other of his needs, her needs, can be simply expressing appreciation for a kind, selfless gesture done, such as, when he opens your door, or when he or she hands you a plate, or similar acts of kindness. These gestures should be followed with a kind word of appreciation, which shows we notice and appreciate the little things, and that speaks volumes of our sense of respect and politeness. And since this is a marriage relationship, where there are no hidden agendas, receiving and giving compliments should be done freely.
Happy Marriage Nugget #7:
His Needs Her Needs: Respect and Love
For a man, respect is the most important thing he values and for a woman, love is the most important thing to her. And so, if a man senses his wife was being disrespectful, he will react in an unloving matter. On the other hand, when a woman senses her husband has just acted unloving, she will react in a disrespectful manner. And the cycle continues.
I strongly believe that when you speak a man's primary love language, he senses respect or sees it as respecting him. The same goes a for lady; when you speak her primary love language, she senses that as love. So for the man, when you sense disrespect from your wife, as yourself the question, "did I just act in an unloving way?" or "in what way did I just act unloving?". And for the lady, when you feel your husband acted unloving, ask yourself, "did I just act disrespectfully?" or "in what way was I just disrespectful?. Asking yourself these questions, and answering them will help you identify those little things that can lead to conflict, and start learning to avoid them.
Now, to break the cycle mentioned above, you will have to go out of your way to respond differently. Men, you will have to respond lovingly even after sensing disrespect and women, you will have to respond respecfully, even after sensing an unloving attitude. This will end the cycle and get the respect and love flowing again. As you do this today, you will be undoubtedly meeting his needs, her needs.
Happy Marriage Nugget #8:
His Needs Her Needs: Optimism and Reassurance
It is always astonishing to see how pessimistic people can be sometimes. Honestly, when they walk into a room, you can feel the depression or despondency. Now, on the other hand, when a person who tends to be appreciative, hopeful and confident about the future or the success of something, walks into the room, you feel your spirit or confidence raised by their presence. Both of these feelings are brought back to one's mind long after the person leaves the room.
So the food for thought is, which of the two are we: The voice of discouragement or the uplifter of the lives of others? If we are not at the place we would so much like to be, in the words of H. Jackson Brown, Jr., it is possible to "Become the Most Positive and Enthusiastic Person You Know".
It all goes back to the stories and thoughts we allow to be created in our minds. No matter what is going on in our lives, as long as we still have reasons to be thankful and grateful for something and make that our focus, we can be the lifting power in the lives of others. So, as an example, the next time you get back home, and walk through the door, thinking about the things you are thankful and grateful for, would keep a pleasant expression on your face. Your partner, seeing that expression, will sure be uplifted, and you will be meeting his needs, her needs, for optimism and reassurance.
More Happy Marriage Nuggets in a few days! In the meantime, grab a book that interests you on the right, devour it and start applying what you learned to your relationship. You can't fail as you meet his needs, her needs!